Time is a flat circle
CFB Championship Monday
Well, gentlemen (and maybe a few ladies), we have reached the end of yet another great college football season. In a shocking twist of events, Alabama and UGA have made it to the college football championship. Let me be the first to say congrats to these two under-dog programs for beating the odds and finally getting over that championship hurdle that was ever alluding. All these videos of grown men leading chants and acting/barking like dogs on their flights to Indianapolis are disturbing to say the least. I pray to god every night I will never have to sit through that as I sip my Woodford in comfort +. We will get to tonight’s matchup later, let us first touch on a few highlights from this year, below:
· Auburn places 2nd in the famous Birmingham Bowl
-TJ Finley looked like a classic 22 year old kid in Birmingham the way he was getting sacks left and right before seeing causing widespread panic right by the BJCC. The only thing left for him to do is it to put on a barbour jacket with white-washed jeans and head to Moes for a bushwhacker.
· Tennessee falls to Purdue in Music City bowl
-I haven’t seen volunteers get fucked this hard by zebras since my time in Africa during the peace corps. Folks, not making any forward progress on scoring is the reason why I deleted Hinge. I had to revert to the lower tier women of tinder where they might be a little over weight.. and just like the vols, when it gets hot and heavy, we will both be saying “it feels like ‘98”.
· Ole Miss wins 10 games
-Lane Kiffin, just like most fuckers at Ole Miss, was able to score a 10 while being an overweight creepy dude. Although a successful season, the rebels went on and did their best Branch Davidian impression as they got assaulted and manipulated by a bunch of dudes from Waco, Texas.
2022 CFB Championship: UGA vs. Bama
It feels like the movie “Groundhog Day” if the director was an alcoholic and from Mobile, Alabama. For many of us on the outside looking in and simply wanting a meteor to strike the field tonight, let us take comfort in the fact that Nick Saban is 70 and this will likely only happen for 15 more years. Some are saying Nick Saban is sick and twisted like Michael Vick, in that the more rich and powerful he gets, the more he wants to brutally beat dogs from the state of Georgia.
My prediction: UGA 28 Bama 24
I am looking forward to putting out more content in 2022. Until then I leave you with this quote:
“she isn’t that cool or that hot, but she has an Adderall prescription” — Anonymous
GL,
F.S.
